


As Soft and Cute as a Prickly Cactus

by DcDreamer



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, Graphic depictions of therapy, M/M, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 09:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DcDreamer/pseuds/DcDreamer
Summary: "I just— I hate seeing him go out with guys, you know? Does that make me a homophobe?"Matt learns a lot about himself and his temper when Techie moves in.





	As Soft and Cute as a Prickly Cactus

**Author's Note:**

> _For Phil, who thought of me and without whom this would never have happened._  
>  This is my first Techienician fic! I've been dying to write this story for quite some time, so I'm glad to have finally found a way to force myself to make it a reality. As usual, I can't write a short fic to save my life, so I'll be updating this periodically. (I can't wait to show you the amazing art my partner has created for this fic!)

“How’s the new roommate?”  
Matt’s foot tapped impatiently against the carpeted floor. Each tap getting him a millisecond closer to getting out of here. Matt supposed Dr. Walker’s office was meant to be comfortable— all soft natural light floating in through cream curtains into a room full of pale wooden furniture and shelves of those little potted cacti Matt had seen everywhere lately. It was nothing like the messy office Dr. Kapoor kept stuffed with dusty bookshelves. But all of the open space in this office only made Matt feel more exposed. He certainly _looked_ out of place amongst all the high end furniture in his faded jeans and ratty university tee.  
Dr. Walker frowned that not-frown therapists perfect in school at Matt’s silence. “Are you uncomfortable, Matt?”  
He couldn’t hold in a scoff at that, “What do you think? I’m in a strange room with a strange person pretending she knows me.” That wasn’t the right thing to say at all. It was the truth, but the truth wasn’t always the right thing to say to people. Dr. Kapoor had taught him that much.  
Dr. Walker carefully set down her notepad on her desk, folded her manicured hands on her knees, and leveled Matt with a steady look, “I do know you, Matt. I know _Die Hard_ is your go-to movie but _Miss Congeniality_ is secretly your favorite. I know you hate caramel for some reason. And I know the only reason you’re here, clearly uncomfortable, is because you trust Dr. Kapoor. You’re a good man, Matt— you hate unfairness. You don’t like how unfair it is that I know everything about you while you know nothing about me.”  
Matt clenched his teeth. With each of her statements he felt more and more exposed and more and more annoyed. Did she think showing off would impress him or something? Any idiot could read up on his files and know all of that. It didn’t mean anything. His mental walls went up and made his heart ache. That pain was familiar at least. _This isn’t how this is supposed to go,_ his heart told him. _Don’t do this._  
At Matt’s continued silence, she tilted her head and smiled, “Why don’t we level the playing field a little? You can ask me anything, anything at all, so you can get to know me too. In fact, we can make this entire session about me if you prefer.”  
Matt’s eyes widened, “That’s allowed?”  
Dr. Walker laughed, her angled blond bob swaying prettily with her. “This time is for you, Matt, we can do whatever you want with it.” His eyes met hers fully for the first time, “We’re going to be working together for the next six months while Dr. Kapoor is away on sabbatical, right? We’ll have plenty of time later to talk about you. But for now, if it makes you more comfortable, you can ask me anything and I promise you I will answer honestly.”  
Matt stared her down, trying to discern any level of deceit in her. His heart panged painfully in his chest. _Don’t do this, don’t do this._ Matt kept glaring at her anyway. Dr. Walker stared pleasantly back, soft smile never leaving her face. Finding no resistance in her, Matt slumped back in his chair with a heavy sigh. “You don’t have to do that.”  
Dr. Walker had no intention of allowing this opportunity to slip away. “People should earn your trust, Matt. Is there a better way for me to earn yours?”  
Resigned to his fate, Matt closed his eyes and shook his head. “You’re friends with Dr. Kapoor, right? He trusts you, right?”  
She paused, clearly understanding the depth of his questions. “We were in the same graduating class at Beverly... He invited me to his wedding, did you know that?” At Matt’s small shake of his head, she smiled. “We’ve known each other for over a decade, and I consider him a good friend. I fully believe that he referred you to me because he respects and trusts me. Does that make sense?”  
Matt nodded. “If Dr. Kapoor trusts you then I trust you too. You can forget about all of that other stuff.”  
“That means a lot to me, Matt, thank you. May I ask you a question?”  
“Shoot.”  
“Why do you trust Dr. Kapoor so much?”  
God, why was it never an easy question? “We’ve known each other a long time,” he replied slowly and sank further in the armchair, shoulders hunching up to his ears. “I’ve been seeing him since I was a kid. But you know all of that.”  
“Yes, but I want to hear it in your own words. Why you opened up to him as much as you did.”  
Matt looked up at the ceiling and found he didn’t really have an answer. Dr. Kapoor was Dr. Kapoor. Safe, and understanding. He honestly couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t trust him.“I don’t know, I was a dumb kid. Everything sucked back then after that _asshole_ left mom and the school thought I was having disciplinary issues just because I got into a couple of fights that weren’t even _my fault_ and they threatened to expel me if I didn’t do _this_ so I just— I wanted this to work because I didn’t want to disappoint my mom, you know? Life was already hard for her without her son fucking everything up. So I tried and Dr. Kapoor just— he just— he told me to be me, you know? He taught me to stick up for myself and not take shit from anyone.” He leaned forward then, hands on his knees, propelled by an energy he didn’t even know he had. “Everyone else tells you to fit in. To do things that make people like you, but not Dr. Kapoor. He’s the biggest badass I know. Dr. Kapoor said,” and Matt paused to mimic the light Hindi accent. “‘If you make yourself miserable trying to make everyone else happy, you’ll end up hating yourself and everyone else. You only need to make the people you love happy. And the people you love should already love you just the way you are. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.’”  
Dr. Walker burst into laughter, clearly delighted. “He really said that to you?”  
“Yeah.”  
“How old were you?”  
Matt grinned, “Thirteen.”  
Dr. Walker laughed again and he found himself laughing along with her. “He’s a great guy,” Matt explained as their giggles died down. “Like I know middle school sucks for everyone but he really helped me find peace. He helped me focus on what really matters, you know?”  
Dr. Walker’s pen and notepad were back in her hands. Matt didn’t mind as much this time. “And what’s that?”  
“Making my mom proud. I worked my ass off in high school to get into Beverly.”  
“I saw that,” Dr. Walker pointed to his shirt. “Congratulations.”  
“Thanks. I started off as an electrical engineering major, did you know that?” He didn’t pause to see her response. “My old man thought he was big stuff because he was an engineer. So— I don’t know, I thought I could be one and do it better, I guess. I just wanted to do right by my mom for doing so much for me, you know?” He looked down and took a deep breath, steadying himself for what came next. “But I started college and I fucking _hated_ it. I mean I graduated high school with honors and got this big fancy scholarship to go to Beverly but all of my professors treated me like I was some kind of idiot. I mean the first year was tough on everyone because they were weeding people out— whatever the fuck _that_ means but after that it was clear those assholes were singling me out with impossible questions just to embarrass me in front of the class. And it didn’t matter how hard I studied or that I worked twice as hard as everyone else, they all kept looking at me like I was some big blond idiot. Damn elitists picked their favorites and gave them the best lab times and equipment and then wondered why the rest of us were struggling. It made _no fucking sense_.”  
He looked back up and noticed she was staring at him. “What?”  
“It’s nothing, it’s just— some of your words are so...aggressively _passionate_.” At his blank stare, she smiled shyly, “C’mon, tell me how you _really_ feel.”  
That got him to laugh again, relieved. Dr. Walked set her notepad aside, “You don't hold anything back. I like that, it suits you.”  
“You don’t think it’s a lot?”  
“No, it’s certainly a lot. But it’s the real you. And letting other people see the real you is the hardest thing in the world. Did your honesty get you in trouble in college?”  
“I wasn’t mouthing off to my professors, if that’s what you mean.” He looked down again but made sure to keep his voice down and level this time. “I tried so hard to be a model student, you know? But dealing with all of their bullshit was really getting to me... I hadn’t been that angry since middle school.” He absently pulled a succulent from the end table and fiddled with it in his hands, sighing through his nose. “I started spending all of my time at the gym instead of studying to keep from decking someone. I nearly lost my scholarship.”  
“What did you do?”  
“My academic advisor reached out to me saying he wanted to meet. He noticed my grades were slipping and was actually worried about me. He heard me out about everything that was happening but like, there was nothing he could really do about it. We could file an official complaint to the Dean and stuff, which we did, but neither of us expected anything to come of it.” Matt looked back up to meet Dr. Walker’s gaze, “He was the first person to really look at me as a person in college, rather than just another nuisance or a number. He made me realize that I needed help, so I reached out to Dr. Kapoor.”  
“You weren’t seeing him at the time, right?”  
“Right. I stopped seeing him after my junior year of high school. Partly because I was doing okay and partly because it was expensive for my mom. I didn’t know if he was still in the area, or even if he would take me, since he’s technically a pediatric therapist, but apparently he took me in without a second thought. I felt awful, being back in his office. Like I’d failed him in a way. ‘Here I am, fucking up again.’ But Dr. Kapoor was just happy to see me, even if he was pissed about what had happened. It was just like old times— venting about dumb people and figuring out how to get my life back on track.”  
Dr. Walker smiled and asked a question she already knew the answer to. “And is your life back on track?”  
Matt smiled back at her, “Yeah, yeah I think so. I feel a lot better now than I did then.”  
“That’s wonderful, Matt.”  
“Thanks.”  
An awkward silence fell over them again. Matt silently placed the plant back on the end table. “Dr. Walker can I ask you a question?”  
“Of course.”  
“What’s the deal with all the cacti?”  
She laughed, clearly not expecting that line of inquiry. “These, you mean?” She reached for the small glass terrarium on her desk housing a group of brightly colored cacti. “There are several studies highlighting the mental and physical benefits of keeping plants at work and at home. Succulents require minimal maintenance and are not especially picky about lighting and placement. It doesn’t hurt that they are en vogue at the moment too.”  
“Benefits?” Matt blinked down at the little pot at his side. It was hard to imagine how a dumb cactus could do anything for him.  
“Of course, you should not underestimate the soothing power of nature and the good some fresh oxygen can do for you. These little guys are certainly much cheaper than an air purifier.”  
“I don’t see what’s so soothing about keeping a plant covered in needles indoors.”  
Dr. Walker laughed, “I can understand your concern, Matt, but I can assure you these are harmless.” To demonstrate, she reached into the terrarium and stroked at the cacti with her index finger. When she pulled her hand back out— unlike the old Bugs Bunny cartoons— her finger was completely needle-free. “There are dozens of different species, so I made sure to be very selective in my choices. Otherwise my liability lawyer would kill me.”  
Intrigued, Matt picked up the cacti from the table again. There really weren’t any sharp barbs on it like he had previously imagined. He cautiously poked at it so find that it was surprisingly soft and smooth. He petted the petal… leaf things, delighted in this discovery.  
“If you like it so much, why don’t you keep it?”  
“Seriously?” Matt’s head snapped up, eyes glued to hers in disbelief.  
“Yes, seriously. I’m addicted to buying them so you’d be doing me a favor in taking one home. I’ll be overrun here otherwise.”  
Matt looked down at the white pot dwarfed in his hands. “...Thanks, Dr. Walker. I don’t have anything like this at my apartment.”  
“You’re very welcome. You’ll be surprised at how little things like that can turn a place into a home. Are you in a new apartment?”  
“No, actually, I’ve been at this place for a year and a half.”  
Dr. Walker traded the terrarium for her notepad. “Oh, good. Any roommates?”  
“Just one.”  
“What are they like?”  
“I haven’t met him yet.”  
“Oh, he hasn’t moved in yet?”  
“I guess? No. I mean, yes. I mean. I don’t know. A bunch of moving guys came a couple of weeks ago and unloaded everything in his room but he wasn’t actually, like, with them? I haven’t seen the guy so I don’t think he’s been by the apartment at all.”  
“Hasn’t the fall semester already started? Is he not also a student?”  
“I don’t know,” Matt huffed, a familiar tingle of frustration dancing along his knuckles as he continued to pet the cacti. “The landlord doesn’t usually tell me stuff like that. He just gives me a heads up when to expect someone coming or going.”  
“I see. Well if he has already moved in I’m sure you’ll be seeing him soon.”  
“Yeah.” Would he though? The movers had made quick work of the truck full of unmarked cardboard boxes and Matt hadn’t seen any furniture brought in other than a bed and a small desk. It wasn’t like their rooms were super small either. Matt’s room was easily four times as big as the stupid dorm room they tried to stick him in back as a freshman. Maybe the guy was going to bring the rest of his furniture when he actually moved in? Or maybe this guy would be like Mike. Now _there_ was a good guy. Mike was easily his favorite roommate of all time. Never made a mess, never got in the way, and never brought people over. Mike was always at his girlfriend’s place and by the end of the second month had basically moved in with her. It was perfect. Yeah, maybe this new guy was like that. Matt could dream.  
Dr. Walker leaned back in her chair, “Why don’t we call it a day? I can tell you’re reaching your limit.”  
Matt sat bolt upright. There was no way he’d come this far just to ruin it now. “No, it’s—”  
“It’s alright, Matt. I just appreciate you opening up to me as much as you have. We can catch up next time.”  
Matt could tell she was being sincere. And honestly he was dying to try out that new protein shake he bought himself as a reward for good behavior. “Okay. Thanks. See you next month.”  
Dr. Walker stood to give him a firm handshake, “It’s been great meeting you, Matt.”  
“It’s been nice meeting you, Dr. Walker.”  
Matt looked down at the little pot in his hands one last time, nodded to Dr. Walker, and ducked out of the office.

* * *

No matter what anyone else said, the gym was an awesome place in Matt’s opinion. A simple sanctuary where he could work out his frustrations in _peace._ Minimal conversation with anyone else was required and as one of the biggest guys at his local gym he could pretty much work with the heaviest weights as long as he wanted. He kept to himself, wiped down the equipment after every use, and was known to scare off creeps who bothered girls. Basically, the gym was the one place where he was liked and respected.  
But after a particularly exhausting and satisfying afternoon at the gym Matt was more than ready to settle in at home. He squeezed through the front door and absently placed his keys in their allotted bowl. He then jogged up to the kitchen and studiously went through the motions of preparing the new chocolate peanut butter protein shake recipe he heard about online. The first sip would _totally_ be worth it. Finally, after about fifteen minutes of meticulously measuring and pouring everything into his specialized blender, his shake was finally, _finally_ ready.  
He took a quick sip and immediately felt like he’d been gut punched. He crowed at full volume to the ceiling, “ _Fuck,_ this is _really fucking good!”_ Matt took a another sip and couldn’t help but exclaim again, “God, that’s _so_ fucking good!” He threw in a victory punch into the air for good measure just because it felt right.  
Matt took a deep breath in, relishing the creamy peanut butter on his tongue. This was it. This was _exactly_ what he’d been looking forward to all day. All week, actually. Humming to himself, Matt took his drink and migrated to the living room, collapsing heavily onto the sofa. God, it was good to be home. Being home alone was honestly _the best._ Didn’t have to worry about his roommate being nosy, or messy, or taking up the whole living room to study for some stupid class. Like this, he could just truly relax without having to worry about anyone judging him.  
Until his new roommate moved in.  
God, it was such a drag to share this space with someone else. Any day now he would have to kiss his peace and quiet goodbye. He slumped back against the sofa cushions, better to enjoy it now while it lasts…  
Matt took another beautiful sip of his amazing shake but couldn’t shake off the nagging thoughts in the back of his head. _What the hell was taking this guy so long to move in? Was he going to be like Mike and spend all of his time somewhere else? But even Mike had kept stuff at their apartment, so when was this guy going to make his grand entrance?_  
Matt’s foot was tapping so hard it was disrupting his shake. He quickly set it down on his old coffee table then darted forward to pull his phone out of his gym bag. He couldn’t stand the thought of not knowing when this careless fucker was going to barge into his home and his life for one more minute. Matt got along with his landlord okay, but preferred to keep communications between them at a minimum. Today would be an exception.  
_[Sent 6:36 PM] Hey do you know when the new roommate is moving in?_  
[Received 6:37 PM] What do you mean? He told me he was all moved in weeks ago.  
Matt frowned. This was not going well already.  
_[Sent 6:39 PM] All his stuff was moved in, yeah, but I haven’t seen the guy at all. Did he tell you he was going on a trip or something?_  
[Received 6:42 PM] Are you sure he hasn’t been by? He seemed pretty eager to get settled in.  
Matt exhaled through his nose. Of course he was sure! What kind of dumbass question was that? He looked over his shoulder towards the closed door of his roommate’s room. The lights had been off for weeks, for Christ’s sake! There was no possible way anyone had been there since the movers dropped everything off.  
Increasingly irritated and ready to prove his point, Matt launched himself off the couch and stormed towards the closed door. He practically pounded his fist against the door. _“Are you sure he hasn’t been by?”_ Get real, there was no way anyone could have moved in without Matt noticing.  
And then the door opened.  
Matt suddenly realized three things: 1) he had been very loud coming home today, 2) his hair, like the rest of him, was still damp with sweat from the gym, and 3) his roommate had, in fact, moved in, and was actually _here._  
The door opened just an inch to reveal a pale face hidden behind a wall of red hair. Matt opened his mouth to say something, _anything,_ but his stupid brain didn’t feel like saving his ass from this awful situation so he just stood there gaping like a big dumb fish.  
“Um,” the guy said quietly, “can I, like, help you?”  
“No! I mean, yes, I mean, what are you doing here!?!”  
The guy shrank away from the door like he’d been struck, “I— I live here?”  
_Fuck. What the hell, Matt._ “I mean, like, I didn’t think you were home!”  
The guy shrank further away from the door, “Oh, well sorry to bother you...” He inched further back and moved to close the door again.  
“Wait!” Matt’s arm jerked out to stop the door from closing. “Wait! Fuck, why are you apologizing man, _I’m_ the one bothering you.”  
The guy hovered by the door, looking like he was a moment away from bolting. When he finally spoke, his voice was just above a whisper. “I don’t want any trouble.”  
Now Matt was the one to shrink away from the door. “Trouble? What? No, I—”  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking shit fuck. This is a disaster._ His roommate, whoever he was, was clearly afraid of him. _Fuck. Okay, focus. This isn’t the first time you’ve fucked up a social interaction. Remember, “SLSL: Step away, Look down, Slow your breathing, and Lower your voice.”_ He followed through the motions with ease. Dr. Kapoor had never steered him wrong with this technique. That and plenty of practice.  
He peeked up at his roommate through his eyelashes, shoulders slumped to diminish his size. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Matt said slowly and clearly as he had done dozens of times before. “I haven’t seen you around so I didn’t think you’d actually moved in yet. I knocked to double check you weren’t there but I— I really didn’t expect anyone to answer so. Um. Sorry again for bothering you out of nowhere.”  
His roommate cautiously took a step forward. “Oh, um, thanks, I guess? Like, I— I didn’t expect to see you either so, sorry, like, for like, startling you too or- or something... ”  
_Oh my god, he’s just as bad at this as me._  
Matt smiled, and slowly extended his hand. “Thanks, man. Sorry again for barging in on you like this, but, umm, I’m Matt. Nice to meet you!”  
His roommate looked down at his hand and back up at his eyes. Matt could see the exact moment when his roommate sensed his sincerity and finally relaxed. The door creaked open a little further and out stepped a tall, lanky man. Matt had never seen a man so tall be so thin. _I bet I could wrap my pinky around his wrist._  
Wrist. Right. _Shake his hand, you idiot._  
Matt was terrible at handshakes. There was no denying that and no amount of practice could fix it. He had big, clumsy hands that had a tendency to miss. As a teenager, every handshake was a personal challenge where he felt the need to assert his dominance. He once shook a fully grown man’s hand so hard he sprained the guy’s wrist. Dr. Kapoor had to keep his wrist wrapped for over a week. (He felt bad about that to this day.) And this guy, his roommate, looked so thin and delicate that Matt was terrified of breaking him. So he reached out slowly, still managing to overshoot his reach and brush his fingers against that tiny wrist.  
Matt jerked his hand back, about to stutter out another apology, but his roommate's hand followed his and they settled into a tentative shake.  
“I’m...call me Techie. Please.”  
“Sure,” Matt murmured, distracted by the red lining the man’s, Techie’s, eyes. _Were you crying?_ Matt hoped not, he was awful at comforting people and he’d feel extra bad if he interrupted something private.  
Techie was giving him a very odd expression and Matt panicked— had he been staring too long? Did he say something wrong? Wait.  
“Fuck, did I say that out loud?”  
Techie nodded. “What- umm, what made you think, like, that I was crying?”  
Matt pointed to his own face. “Your eyes are really red, so I thought, maybe...”  
“Oh no, no!” Techie waved his hands frantically in front of his face. “I just, like, woke up, so...”  
“Oh. _Oh._ Sorry, man I didn’t mean to interrupt your nap or anything!”  
“Oh no, it’s fine, I mean it’s not fine but you like, didn’t know and—”  
_Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._  
Techie turned scarlet. “Sorry, I haven’t eaten yet! God, this is so—”  
“Dude, it’s okay, it’s my fault for barging in on you like this—”  
_RrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr._  
“Umm, would you like a peanut butter shake?”

**Author's Note:**

> Confession time? I suffer from secondhand embarrassment so figuring out exactly how awkward to make these two while also trying to not die from embarrassment was the true test of this chapter. Hopefully, they were in a believable realm of disaster!


End file.
